Monday, October 20, 2003

i am very touched by my brothers...... everyone want to come over my hse and accompany me now even though they lived miles away..... i really felt like crying....... thx guys..... thx for being there when i needed someone......my true brothers =)

Saturday, October 18, 2003

Sad
You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Robbie william- better man

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe & warm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I feel the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul
Heals the shame
I will grow
Through this pain
Lord I'm doing
All I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conciense
Cos it's not my fault
I know I've been told
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul
Heals the shame
I will grow
Through this pain
Lord I'm doing
All I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover you're home bound
Love is all around, love is all around
I know some have fallen on stoney ground
But love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe & warm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I feel the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul
Heals the shame
I will grow
Through this pain
Lord I'm doing
All I can
To be a better man
Wo zai shen bian

xing xing gua zai tian bian
jiu xiang meng xiang lai bu ji shi xian
ba guo qu xiang le yi bian, xiang qi juan lian ni de zuo tian
deng dai shi jiu le yi xie, shi jian cheng mo de guo le ji nian
wo zai shen bian, ni zhe me kan bu jian
bie rang ci xin de shou hou, kan bu dao zhong dian
wo zai shen bian, xi wang zui hou ni neng gou fa xian
wo neng ge ni de wen rou, jing de qi kao yan

Friday, October 17, 2003

today is a rainy day, somehow on rainy days... i just felt more blue den usual.... on my way home... saw a kid and his mum.... the kid is mentally handicapped and the mum i can see that shes not a happy mother... they both do not wish such thing to happen, i felt sorry for them.

Why God created humans in the first place? Whats our true meaning in life? To live life to the fullest? To be a happy person? If god really love his people, why are there so much sufferings, are humans puppets played by god for his entertainment?
Why cant he bless us and let us lead a happy life?

today after lesson, i and my class guys had a good talk, we talked for an hr + or so.... and its all about girls.... guess we're all very troubled about our love life........ we're the sufferers of love.

One of em said...."when the one your fond of gets with another guy, technically speaking... you will want to wish her happiness with him, but somehow you will wish that you are the one instead of that guy"

Yea... this is very true... i really wish that..... if with him she can be happy....but same time...... i also wished that i could be the guy that takes care of her everything. If she ever end up with him and shes not happy. I'll be 100 times worse then her...... sometimes i just wish.... i can wake up forget everything, but everytime i woke up, the 1st thing i thought about is her.

"i could see i love you, it hurts me deep in my heart"

when would this heartache ever cease.........

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

today got back my 2nd cma test paper... i pass la, but not very well done... but i at least i passed, haha.....
then got home.... nothing to do, den i saw linda's nick gun bounding..... @____@.. i rem downloading it.... nothing to do so i reg it.... and i play...... wah lau.... from 12pm play till 10 pm lo..... haha.... still havent advance in rank......sheesh.... damn.... haha... no 1 willing to spare me items orh..... gonna start from scratch moiself.... but guess i shouldnt play this much.... lotsa other stuffs to do....

Monday, October 13, 2003

meet you, requires luck
love you, how much courage do i need?
insignificant me only litsen to myself.....
the world doesnt allow a miracle to happen

somebody say i should forget about you
but i rather forget that i'm so naive....
if i ever lose you....
what good will it be to please the whole world?
i tried to make the world stop dispite of everything....
in exchange for a determination to you
in the end...
its still together or seperation
at least thats sign that i loved b4

somebody say i should give up
its easier to be regretful then to be stubborn
the hardest thing is the losing of the ability to love
suffering in loneliness....

the whole whole world is waiting for me
looking at you....
let me kiss you and fall in love with you......

Saturday, October 11, 2003

today, dunnoe to count myself lucky or unlucky, went for self practice for my bike today, it rained la..... its good in a sense that, if on my test date it rains, at least i wont be so gan chiong. den i rushed for my training, training was quite shag, just at the last moment when trg ends.... i actually slipped from the steps and dropped inside the water. sounds ok eh... but i had so many cuts.... and my left hand , a part of the palm the skin actually were rub away.... now my hands reminds me of freddy vs jason.. my toe too.... the same toe that got injured when at sentosa is injured again....what a coincidence... think i cant do any running for a short period till my toe recover.... hope it'll recover b4 exams.... ok it will!!!!

but actually my back is also feeling very stressed nowadays..... i run a bit and it starts to hurts... i guess my back can rest for a real good time, den i'll be back in action =)

i really dun understand how girls think.... i aint some valentino that can understand well, i'm just a stupid down 2 earth guy......i thought she dunch really care if i'm dead or alive... maybe i'm wrong....maybe like my friend said, shes afraid that i might get the wrong idea... yea... after all.... its all 1 sided... but somehow i really wish that she could expressed a little bit more concern towards me....

i came upon the 'da ryan' in guan hong's friendster... guan hong say i lookch like him in certain angles... hmmm really? lol hes a charming hunk.... i'm not....

then came upon his gf friendster.... she loves him so much....... see already also envious... haha

if only i 'm really like 'da ryan', scoring so many As, Ads, so successful in his cca.... and has a gf thats so pretty, rich and loves him so much........

i'll be the happiest man in the world.. haha.......


" 1, ur like a dream come true
2, jus wanna be with u
3, ger its plain to see, that your the only 1 for me
4, repeat steps 1 thru 3
5 make you fall in love with me
if ever i believe my work is done,
den i'll start back at 1....."

Friday, October 10, 2003

haha... hey..... today is nt exactly a bad day , had quite a bit of stuffs.... went for the ngee ann 40 rounds thingy.... helped librarian to run.... we got 4th la... haha but all we got were 2 towels.... lol.... kinda pathetic

den i went jurong point, bought a laughing buddha ornament as present for my mum bday.... and she actually got us to go eat chicken rice la..... i had chicken rice for so many days... die... i scare of chicken now.....

haha den i watch freddy vs jason vcd..... wooooooooooooot....... damn song..... blood fly here fly there........ haha i should count myself lucky not to meet up with such villians that would kill me.. i'm so thankful to be alive, to do so many things i want =).

yesterday during presentation.... one of my classmates talked about marriage, " marriage is just to get a cert for legal means"... its quite true in some sense... but have people really got so modern to forget about true value and meaning of marriage?

i always believed in marriage is the holy union of 2 lovers where they have reach upon a point that they entrust their whole life to the other party" for better of for worse, for wealthy or for poor, for healthy or for sick". Nowadays people treat marriage as just a game, sex as just an enjoying process....... maybe its really feels good.... but i always believed in sex after marriage... i believe sex is the most intimate thing to do in the world.... and such act can be only performed with someone u can entrust ur whole life with...... maybe the y generation people may laugh that i'm some orbit old fashion loser...... but i've just wanna maintain my traditional values.... at least when i marry my wife.... i know that shes someone i cant live without and i' can say it confidently.... " i'll love you all my life and you can hv no doubts in my words"

=)


"i hope that you r the one i share my life with,
and i wish that you could be the one i die wtih,
and i pray in ur the one i build my home with......
i hope i love you all my life"

Thursday, October 09, 2003

today is quite a hectic day, had debate and presentation den trg, think all nv do well...... gonna do better next time.

As i alight from the bus i saw a phrase " Success only comes to those who never give up"..... such a familiar phrase yet so distant...... leo.... u used to be such a guy that never gives up easily, in many things, how come u've change.... why do u let go so easily? wheres ur optimistic self that makes u never gives up at all times.

I am searching back my die hard self.... the one that never gives up no matter how harsh, what troubles i face.... leo is gonna turn stronger.... and hopes success to come to him eventually 1 day.... in things he believed in
if ur nt the 1 den why does my soul feel glad today.....
if ur nt the 1 den why does my hand fits urs this way....
if u r not mine den why does ur heart return my call......
if u r not mine would i have the strength to stand at all......
i nv know what the future brings, but i know that this much is true....
we'll make it thru and i hope u r the 1 i share my life with

i dun wanna run away but i cant take it
i dun understand... if i'm nt made for u
den why does my heart tell me that i am
is there anyway that i can stay in ur arms....

if i dunneed u den why m i crying on my bed
if i duneed u den why does ur name resound in my head
if ur not for me then why does this distance maim my life....
if ur not 4 me then why does i dream of u... as my wife...

i dunnoe why ur so far away, but i know that this much is true...
we'll make it thru...
and i hope u r the one i share... my ... life with
and i wish that you could be the 1 ... i ... die ...with
and i pray in ur the 1 i... build ... my ...home...with
i hope... i luv u all my life

i dun wanna run away
but i cant take i dun understand
if i'm not made for u den why does my heart tell me that i am
is there anyway tt i can stay.
in ur arms.....

cause i miss you.......
body and soul so strong
that it takes my breath away....
and i breathe u, into my heart and pray for the strength
to stand today
cause i love you
whether its wrong i rite....
and though i cant be with you tonite... and know my heart is by urside.....

i dun wanna run away
but i cant take it, i dun understand
if i'm not made for u, den why does my heart, tell me tt i am... is there anyway
that i can stay....
in ur arms........

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

today is a very tiring day, well everyday seems like a tiring day to me... =)... woke up rather early, on my way to mrt, saw valerie, so gotta had the honour to go to sch wif her =).... the 1st thing i remind her of.... was cma test of today....haha.... do i really look so cma? maybe because i looks cmi..... oh well.... haha..... had 2 boring tutorials.... tried very hard to stay awake.... and just when i wanna go library after that to revise for my test..... i fall asleep in da fooking library..... haha.... nice place to sleep....... and when i woke up, my classmates and i were joking with one another la... i guess we're all lovesick.... a bunch of lovesick guys.... what to do other then treat our experience as a joke and laugh at it? hah..... but this shudnt be the case... we aint bad guys..... there are far worse guys out there who has girls showering them wif love..... WE DESERVE A GAL haha............. but love never comes easy....... it cant be rush or forced.............. maybe god is just being unfair....maybe god dont like me, maybe cupid dislikes me....... maybe it was a wrong for me to ever like girls...... but at least i'm still strong and surviving...... leo is gonna stay strong..... true love never comes easy, some people spent their whole life searching for true love, maybe i'll become 1 of those people.... who spend my whole life searching for love and to be loved.......awl......... i hate to get emotional....... but i cant deny i am.... haiz..... oh well..... after that took the stupid cma test..... i think i did it correctly .... i hope i did it correct..... i pray i did it correctly..... oh yea.... god bless...... boring nite ahead.... =\

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

today is just another dull day, had cma tutorial.... den realise... lecture was cancelled due to e learning, and needa study more cma and more cma....but aiya... kinda bored... study a couple o hr and went outside club house to stone..... simply because.... i have no key..... haha.... there was this magnum force girl there..... she looks kinda cute man! haha..... too bad......just to see @___@ =).... training was kinda sad today, a lot of people werent at the training, guys gers, both a lot never come.... isit because of test? projects..... hope can see more people the next training, cause theres only 3 school training left till exams........ then will be trg camp, intensive trg...... ooooooohhhhhh, wondering if i'm gonna get the ivp jacket..... its ok if i dunch get... but i really wish i could get 1, after all.... i've tried to be very commited to the team. But i know there are many that are as commited as i am or even more...... but i just wish i had a chance to get it.

got a test tomolo... i wish i can do better this time round... or else i'm really gonna face straight Ds this sem... which i dont want~ >_< at least let me have a B or 2... i dun bear hope to see any As this sem... i havent seen any As last sem too.... only during my 1st sem... sigh......study sucks

sigh... someone told me... "definitely there are a lot of people that likes her" yea... i know that too... i'm just 1 of the many.... thinking of this.... how many chance would i fair..... haha...... maybe... i'm just not destined to hv a gf...... my love life sucked for 18 yrs.... going to 19 soon........ haha...... sometimes i think back of the things that happened to me.................what can i do other den to laugh at it..... i'm not valentino.... i'm no all girls favourite..... but sometimes i really wish i had someone by my side that care for me, loves me and cherish me..... but this is very distant like a dream too....

haha.... today blog write very long because..... simply.... i'm bored, not much people to chat with now, all got tests to study.... only i'm still slacking... wth.... rest a bit more i gonna study too.....


"But my love is all i have to give
without you i dont think i can live
i wish i could give the world to you
but love is all i have to give.......
to you..."

Sunday, October 05, 2003

today training is quite a tiring 1...... i'm so tired... but my mum wants me go out with her n my aunt... i dunch wish to go... but next friday is her bday, guess must try to make her happier a little bit... so although i'm very tired... i must go out with her now..... hope wont be out for long..............*

Saturday, October 04, 2003

quite a hetic day, pass my bike pract, yea.. subject 9! hah... den went to tbp meet masa, bra,kit,kai,pat,ava and bra's gf, we went to watch underworld......

boring movie but aiya.... its quite cool maybe worth ard 60/100 bah...

den went to eat wanton noodles @____@ yummy, tiong bahru... my homeland... changed so much.... missed the times i live there.... where every1 is so friendly and kind... not like my house now, i barely know my neighbours.... =\....

den went to queenstown for pool, unwilling but aiya just go.... meet poh guan there.... played 1 round... chat a bit..... then i go play DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION...... haha guess my skills is rusty, but aint so bad, managed to pass a few maniac songs la.... but forgot how to play castatrophic dynamic rave.... kinda sad....i used to be a PROFESSIONAL IN DDR! haha

Thursday, October 02, 2003

trg was rather smooth, took nafa, pull ups maintained at 13, sit up increase by 1 from 60-61., 2.4 increased abit till 1014... not very bad, quite satisfied with myself =) but theres always room for improvement!
leo is feeling kinda tired, maybe because not enough sleep la, quite unlucky today, got till bbdc stomach ache, den late for pract, during pract was kinda restless, never perform up to standard also, den the killer looks instructor say, ' ni yao zai lai'.... sian 1/2, no mood go lessons for today.... gotta rest in the noon, hope tonight training wont hv any more unlucky matters @___@
We are one - westlife

Two very different people
Too scared to get along
Till two hearts beat together
Underneath one sun
One very special moment
Can turn a destiny
And what some would say
Could never change
Has changed for you and me

Cos it's all, it's all in the way you look through your eyes
And when all is said and done
All of the fear and all of the lies are
Not hard to overcome
It's all in the way you look at it
That makes you strong
We were two
Now we are one

We are two very different people
So much to overcome
So why care for one another
When there's so much to be done

Cos sometimes it's necessary
Just look how far we've come
You could say my friend that
It's the end
Or a new tale has begun
Cos it's all, it's all in the way you look through your eyes
And when all is said and done
All of the fear and all of the lies are
Not hard to overcome
It's all in the way you look at it
That makes you strong
We were two
Now we are one


One moment in time
Is all the time we need
Just to make a difference
To make it better for you and for me
It you just believe

Cos it's all, it's all in the way you look through your eyes
And when all is said and done
All of the fear and all of the lies are
Not hard to overcome
It's all in the way you look at it
That makes you strong
We were two
Now we are one

We were two
Now we are one